Monday, July 30, 2007

Apologies to CB

Care Bear has been doing a wonderful job elevating the level of discourse on this blog and I'm about to kill it, so I apologize in advance. I saw this picture this morning and I had to ask a question regarding tattoos, since I don't have any. Aren't your tattoos supposed to mean something? When I saw pictures of these two Mensa members, all I could guess is that Megan Fox (real name??? I'm skeptical despite what IMDB says) uses the Marilyn tattoo to remind her that she is pretty and Brian Green's tattoos remind him that he thought he was going to be a hip-hop star. As if the hip-hop community would allow a white talentless hack into their ranks. Or maybe his tattoos are supposed to represent the time at the Peach Pit, or whatever the hell the name of that place was, when he got cockblocked by a horse-faced nag, as if he'd ever live that down.

I hope for their sakes there is a tattoo parlor for really stupid actors (which could be one of the more redundant concepts I've ever written about) so these two wouldn't have to go sit next to real bikers and musicians to get their ink. I can only imagine the scorn and derision these two are going to face when their careers die (well, actually his is already dead, he's obviously already taking to hanging out in bus terminals with a business card and head shots, kinda like a Ron Jeremy).

On the positive side, maybe he can continue to cast his Jedi-mind trick on Ms. Fox with his quality pine box trade that he is clearly apprenticing in currently. Just a few more tries and he will be able to make a real squared-off end.

Homer

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tattoos don't have to mean anything if your life doesn't mean anything.

So worthless people can get all the asian tribal Tweety birds they can fit on their overexposed bodies, and the universe will continue as though nothing has changed. Ever notice the "Meh" feeling you get when you find out a fraternity pledge got his first ink? That's a totally natural reaction to an enity with absolutely zero impact on its surroundings. Physics 101.

Tattoos are only relevant when the person who gets them is relevant. Henry Rollins has the Black Flag symbol tattooed on his bicep in 1981. That same year,Sandra Day O'Connor takes her seat as the first female justice of the U.S. Supreme Court. Coincedence? Only the universe knows for sure...

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Sandra Day O'Connor, I'm thinking that tattoo on Ms. Fox's arm is of the SDO, not Marilyn.

Anonymous said...

Settle down there nay. Henry Rollins is amusing and attention-grabbing, kinda like a talking dog, but important? He's the musical equivalent of Chuck Palahniuk: he's self-important and way too self-aware.

SDO on her arm, maybe she should go full circle and get Barbaro next.