Hell yeah!

Homer

We're On Our Way

Am I making it Appointment Television? Yes.

This. is. serious.

I love my brother... -VG

Another tuff day at the office? Indeed.... On the way home CB informed me that he had spent the last hour of work shaking up a hornets nest on the Denver Post. See, what we have here is a classic example of the van clans love of good baseball and superior sarcasm. CB writing under the name of "Rockies Hater" wrote the following sending the fine citizen of the mile high city into a tizzy fit.....

"First of all, let me congratulate your precious Troy Tulowitzki on a stellar 2008. I'm sure he's got his mouth shut now... especially after that little run-in with Upton earlier this season. A rookie calling out another rookie. Hahahaha! It's also interesting that Brandon Webb has more RBI than Tulowitzki. Good lord, what are you paying this kid for? His mouth? Hell, give me a bat and I might be able to accidentally hit .149. I sure as hell could get 0 RBI.

Secondly. Getting shut-out at Petco. Awesome. Can you imagine how your Rockies feel going in to San Diego after lucking their way in to the playoffs last year? There's earning a playoff spot and then there's getting in via a blown call.

Honestly, though, it must be painful to have to swallow the words of Eric Byrnes. You guys really were just lucky. It's delightful to watch. Your luck has run out and your record can't help but show that.

Meanwhile, the Arizona Diamondbacks are at the top of the Division, looking to win another series in just a couple of minutes here. Our batch of young talent seems to have actually gotten better over the winter.

Will the D-Backs have a slide this year. Sure. At some point. Will the Rox wake up. Sure. At some point. But these first few weeks are quite telling. And yes, my D-Backs got swept out last year by this team. I can handle that. We played poorly that series. But if you're going to point to that series as any kind of response to this post then you should also point out getting swept yourselves.

I have as many World Series wins as the Rockies. So do the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. I hope you enjoyed your 15 minutes last year, Rockies fans.

Again, congratulations on the season. And to think there's only 5 1/2 months left to go."

CB's Weight Loss Party Is Under "Weigh"

HAHAHAHAHA. I'm so badradical. Anyhow. How's everyone doing? Yesterday I was satisfied all the way up to my lunch hour and then Brandt took me to a delicious place for lunch that ended up eating all but 0.5 of my points. So I had a vegetable dinner. I think the hardest part for me will be cutting down on the snacking in the evening hours. That seems to be my Waterloo.

Step Brothers Trailer

Okay, first, I'll own up. It's not C. Thomas Reilly, it's John C. Reilly, but it is C. Thomas Howell, except C. Thomas Howell is not in this movie. Which is too bad, because it looks hilarious, and I think Ponyboy in blackface could only add to the awesomeness.

Is anyone else just so NOT sick of these movies yet? I could watch them all day. Even if they do give us full-frontal male nudity when we least expect it.

Very interesting

This article is long but it is well worth your time. Basically, the Washington Post took America's best violinist and had him play a busy train station terminal in Washington. A well crafted article with good insight on our appreciation of the arts. Not condescending at all, but does make you think...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html

CB's Weight loss Party

...or would that be weightloss party? Who cares?

Anyway, me and the Nay have had some very casual conversation about how we'd like to shed a few. For instance, did you know that when the CB started at Chase he came in at a cool 175 and is now at least 230?

So here it is. I plan on doing Weight Watchers. Counting points seems to be a reasonable diet plan for me since I tend to enjoy all kinds of food. I just need to learn to enjoy them in moderation.

So I'm putting it out there. Who else wants in? I'll probably start very soon, but I don't have a specific time nailed down because I wanted to see if anyone else wanted to party down with me (us).

Feelings!

I found this online, I'm sure it is old, but damn it is great. Anyway, which emotion did Steven express when Kelly LeBrock left him? I'm betting wistful.

Homer

Sit Down and Take a Deep Breath VG

I saw this tonight on the interweb:

Sex tapes come and sex tapes go, some of them suck, and some of them blow. But there's a new sex tape that probably does all of the above and more. According to AOL Latino Musica, there is a Shakira sex tape that involves her, her boyfriend, Antonio de la Rúa, and Spanish singer-songwriter, Alejandro Sanz. That's right, a Shakira sex tape threesome! How's that for caliente? Sound too good to be true? Well, it would sound better if it was two girls and one guy, instead of the other way around, but according to the report, the sex tape is being held as evidence in a trial against Sanz, which basically means it totally exists (even though both singers deny it).

A home-made tape could involve Spanish singer-songwriter Alejandro Sanz, Colombian pop diva Shakira and her boyfriend, Antonio de la Rúa, in sexual intercourse together aboard a yacht owned by Sanz.

According to Internet portal Infobae.com, the tape is being held by the prosecutors evaluating the case against Carlos González and his wife, Sylvia Alzate, Sanz ex-employees who are accused of extortion against the artist.

In a recent interview, Javier Ceriani, host of the radio show "Zona Cero", said "there's word of a private video taped in a yacht, which could involve Alejandro Sanz, Shakira and Antonio de la Rúa, but this material is in the prosecutors' hands".

He stated that, according to the prosecutor, "if some of this tape's content would be made public, it could seriously threaten the singer and couple's private life".
Yup, the bar for celebrity sex tapes has just been set that much higher. You hear that Lindsay? A plain old vanilla sex tape just isn't going to cut it anymore. You either go big, or go home.

I guess I know what VG wants for Christmas huh?

Homer

What the Hell Happened???

I'll make this confession to any who don't know:

I love Rock of Love.

Bret Michaels and the ferret that lives on his head is fantastic television. There are psuedo-whores, real whores, and all manner of freak who vie for the 'opportunity' to date a washed up hair-band singer whose hair he gets in bulk discount. Talk about fun! Anyway, the freak this season is this 'Daisy' gal (which apparently isn't her real name) who is Oscar DeLaHoya's niece. She looks like a clown who was in some sort of industrial fire. Her face is sliding off, and the rest of her is plastic. She's just a mess, and Bret spends no less that five minutes of every show talking about how hot she is, which just shows you the sliding scale that musicians have for their groupies.

Anyway, here is a pre-whoredom picture of Daisy where she looks almost human. What happened to her? Did she lose a bet? Get caught in a fire? Or is Bret's saliva (among other things) that toxic? And let's not go crazy and say she's attractive in that particular picture, she just doesn't look as shitty.

Your disturbing post of the day,

Homer

It's Learnin' Time!

So how is it that it takes me a year to find this wonderful learning tool? Who needs a dictionary now? I know that the Vanilla Gorilla doesn't.

T&A isn't just for objectification anymore!

Homer

Kids In the Hall - Old Yeller conclusion-vg

Hee hee, I love the internet