Who wants some electric bassoon? -VG

I win -VG

If you need to know anything else, I can be reached at 1-800-366-9699 ext 73442.

In the spirit of 80's rock interviewing...

stay to the end and you might get a little "drop dead legs" -VGWP

I Love Dana

Dana Jacobson is my new hero. I must say I even love her. Dana is an ESPN host who at a recent Mike and Mike Celebrity Roast staggered out on stage with a bottle of vodka and allegedly said, "Fuck Notre Dame, Fuck Touchdown Jesus."

The only thing that would make Dana even more attractive to me is if she were to stab Skip Bayless in the throat on Cold Pizza when she gets back from her week-long suspension.

She's not on my new list (a post in progress) but damnit, she made a strong play.

Homer

In the Interest of Fairness

I realize the photo I used with the previous post was a bit racy, so here is some equal time. I read that story yesterday about Lenny's celibacy with shock, awe, and disgust. Part of our cultural obsession with celebrity is to live somehow vicariously through them, as a rock star Lenny is supposed to be living a life of hedonism and depravity. None of this self-deprivation. He's supposed to whore it up, and I was very disappointed in Mr. Kravitz, until it hit me, this is a fantastic angle for a celeb to take with the ladies. Not that Lenny needs help with them, but it just adds a little mystique to his game.

Well played Lenny, well played.

Homer

PS- a google image search on Lenny Kravitz is not recommended if your safe search is off. My eyes are still stinging.

Won't Someone PLEASE Think of the Children?

It's been too long since I've posted anything sexist, so here goes. Glendale is again proving that they hate children. Here's a snippet of the article from the AZ Republic:


Special-event liquor license for strip club rejected

Carrie Watters
The Arizona Republic
Jan. 24, 2008 10:03 AM
A former NFL linebacker's attempt to turn a Glendale cabaret into a Super Bowl party spot got squelched by Glendale City Council on Wednesday.

Adrian Ross, who spent six seasons with the Cincinnati Bengals, planned to hold nine days of parties at the Pink Cabaret to raise money for his organization that mentors children with football and literacy camps.

Pink Cabaret, the city's only strip club at 6789 W. Northern Ave., had agreed to give a portion of the proceeds to Ross's Maddbackers Foundation

I can only hope that the Glendale schools are safe from these monsters.

Homer

Triumph sings with Bon Jovi

The first 8 minutes of this video is worth watching. There's a lot of ripping on Bon Jovi, which is always great. But this song is kind of a highlight.

Heavy Metal Parking Lot (1986)

Rare interview with Homer and gang at the Judas Priest show.

Jerry O'Connel = Rad, also = So Dead

Posted by Nay for VG

This is very nice -VG

Follow the link in case i didn't embed this correctly -VG

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3f716ffebe



href="http://www.funnyordie.com">FunnyOrDie.com

Tommy Emmanuel

I told you about this guy last night VG, or WP whatever you're going by now. He's fantastic, makes me want to set fire to my guitar and pick up the pan flute or something.

Homer

Letter to Ann Coulter

There's a whole series of these letters and they're all fantastic because Henry Rollins is fantastic. I'm sure some of you have seen them, but why not watch them again?

UOP Talent Show Next Month -vg

the best so far -VG

The Tom Cruise Scientology Video

http://defamer.com/344987/the-tom-cruise-indoctrination-video-scientologists-dont-want-you-to-see

You gotta see it to believe it...nuts. This website is refusing to remove it at the request of the aliens, so it should be available for you.

K-Rock

For Care Bear

Better than Britney?

This the infamous Chris Crocker's take on Britney's "Piece of Me" song...I know that VG will love it, especially the end.

Exposed (part 2)

Sorry White Phosphorous.

Homer

The VanBlogger Dead Pool

Fear not gentle readers, for Homer has not forgotten his entry into our little game. What follows is not a mere listing of what public figure will go gently off into that good night, but a brief explanation as to why I believe these 5 won’t make it out of 2008 still breathing.

1. Regis Philbin – The talent deprived of America salute you, Mr. Monochrome. I’m not sure how David Letterman will survive the blow, but Regis’ deal with Lucifer is nigh. He achieved fame and fortune how exactly? Swinging off of Joey Bishop’s sack will only get you so far. Guess what Regis, Joey’s dead and it is time for you to lie down and join him again for the dirt-nap.
2. John Goodman – Who some people will tell you looks more and more like his own planet nowadays, he just keeps getting fatter and fatter. He is moving past maximum density and is about to start just oozing lard from his pores. My prediction is that he’ll sign a Jenny Craig contract this spring, lose 50 pounds and then relapse with a Twinkie and Ho-Ho binge at the Chateau Marmont to complete the John Belushi special. Dead by Thanksgiving.
3. Bill Clinton – One bypass surgery already, you just know that once Hillary fails this fall that all control she had on Bill will be gone, spiraling him out of control. Cut off from his supply of interns and campaign trail groupies, Bill will end up in a hotel room eating powdered donuts off of some random desk-clerk’s chest till he kicks off in a puffy, sweaty haze.
4. Britney Spears – I’ll go with the obvious one here. Just look what a diet of crystal meth and caramel mochiatos does to a girl. Sexy! Her recent bout of crazy is just the jump-off point for her terminal spiral – the one you know will result in a blurry sex-tape with a dirty paparazzo, another stint in rehab, and an overdose that leaves here dead on a Hollywood sidewalk covered in vomit (not all of it hers)- all caught on tape.
5. Lindsay Lohan – Again, another obvious one, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist, or even Dr. Phil, to figure out that this girl is in trouble. She is ostensibly trying to give up drugs and alcohol, but she is substituting sex with random guys for the high of the drugs. Sounds good in theory, but she’s going to end up pulling a Michael Hutchence (pun intended), killing herself to get that ultimate sexual experience. The coroner better be wearing a HAZMAT suit, that’s all I gotta say.

So that’s it, that is my list. I’ll just call the bonus shot at Rick D’Amico, when he bites it, I’m buying at the Circle K.

Homer

Mary Jo's Revenge

I was going to leave this alone. It's too obvious and a bit dirty, but since Amy is going to promote this thing, I'll do it. Is the Amy Fisher porn going to be called Mary Jo's Revenge, you know because Amy's going to be shot in the face this time?

Homer

Death!!!

So we have had entirely too much time pass since a suitably bitchy, mean-spirited post has made it up here, so here goes. Crazy Brittney was carted off in restraints last night as "good parent" Kevin Federline received custody of their two children. Themo and I were discussing this and we determined that sometime this year Brittney would off herself or overdose, thus starting another Anna Nicole news cycle of pity and self-loathing. As we were discussing this I figured the VanBlogger should have its own death pool, you know, pick five public figures who you think will kick the bucket this year and then we all sit back like vultures and wait. The deadline (pun intended-I kill myself-wait-) is Monday so ponder on this fellow haters and get those lists in to be eligible for a bitchin' prize (probably a Diet Coke or something).

Homer

Who wants some telecaster?