Michael Scott
Regional Manager, Dunder-Mifflin Paper Co.
Avoid a Staff Mutiny (With Chocolate, if Necessary)
(As imagined by Greg Daniels, executive producer, and Paul Lieberstein, co-executive producer, of NBC's The Office) Every day someone stops me on the street or in a coffee shop or a magic shop, and they want to know how to motivate their staff! Fantastic, I tell them! Then I tell them there's this old saying, "You can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. It will only drink if it's thirsty." I think that while at one point that may have been true, in today's fast-paced business climate, that no longer holds water!! Of course you can make a horse drink. If it doesn't drink, whip it. The horse will understand that you mean business, and it'll start gulping down a ton of water. Now, luckily I don't have to whip my employees - they worship me - plus they drink plenty on their own. Ergo, love. Fantastic! The three keys to motivating your staff are love (positive reinforcement), fear (negative enforcement), and chocolate (chocolate reinforcement).Nowadays I find chocolate and/or chocolate-based snacks to be great motivators. Everyone loves chocolate. If someone has a lot of work to do, put a piece of fudge in a glass container (so they can see it) and let them know that if they accomplish their tasks, they can eat the fudge. You'll definitely get a reaction!
What's it come down to? Attitude! I teach my workers a "yes, let's get it done!" way of thinking, whereas without me they would think, "OK, I'll do it, but I'd rather just watch TV and do it later." I'm behind that. I'm helping them make life better and better, with no limits! The future is theirs and mine! I believe so much in the future that I invest exclusively in "futures." In fact, you can't invest in "pasts," they don't offer that. I've checked.
There's a saying, "As goes paper, so goes the paper business." You've heard of supply and demand. Well, paper demands that I do my job or I am fired. That's been said to me. And that's a good thing: It's called a warning, and we should heed the warning signs of a downturn. Or an upturn. The point is, motivation is business, and that's fantastic. Business is the backbone of the economy, and those who say otherwise are incorrect or lying to your face. If it weren't for business, this country would probably have another depression, only this one wouldn't be so great.
7 comments:
Chocolate in a glass to make me work harder?? His finger is so totally on the pulse of this society.
By the way, Dwight's reference to halfsies last night was one of the best lines so far this season.
Last nights episode was so great and so hard to watch a the same time. When Michael did his "prison Mike" routine it was painful. Even Dwight looked perplexed. I love that show! On the other hand Scrubs totally sucked! What a shame. If they can't do better than that they need to just end it. - themo
Yeah Scrubs was half-assed. They made us wait a year for that?? And there were like three jokes that had been done before (old gay men, Turk didn't know Carla's middle name, and Elliot babying her interns). I was like, is this a clips show? cos I know I've seen that before? Anyway, Scrubs, you sucked last night.
How 'bout Dwight bending over with his pocket full of cash? Priceless. Also, Jim's prank on Pam and Andy was hilarious. Banjo? Pig Latin? Frisbees? Falsetto singing? Genius.
The banter between the three of you is like those stupid commercials on the radio with the hip youngsters talking about what's on NBC tonight. Gay.
You all know who wrote this week's episode right? Ricky Gervais and his original Office parterner (I cannot remember it and I am too lazy to look it up). Once I heard that it made perfect sense. Prison Mike kicked ass.
Homer, it was Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. I couldn't wait for this episode because I knew it would be a goodie script.
Care Bear, you can suck it.
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