I've found something to replace my fear of midgets

I submit, for The 2007-2008 VanBlogger Awards, this video for Hella Creepiest.

-=Nay

Mr Show - The Pre-Natal Pageant

Maybe Miss Teen South Carolina didn't start early enough.

U.S. Americans and The Iraq

She's doing this for the scholarship, right? She's heard that there's an opening at Bright Horizon's Daycare.

K-Rock

As promised...

Is he in on the joke?

Don't be tempted to stop watching...you have to watch the whole song. It gets progressively more dramatic and crappy. It really makes me wonder if he is just f'ing with us.

Let's DAAAAAAAAAANCE!

So word on the street is that "they're" working on remaking footloose and casting Zac Efron as Ren. Before you get too pumped up about this, think about the times we're in. The music of Footloose represented the pop music of the time. Probably a huge reason it was so successful. The pop music of today (Fall Out Boy) will not work with the movie. They'll either have to use
A) The same songwriters they use for High School Musical
B) The same music from footloose and make it a campy 80's throwback
C) Or they'll have to change the setting altogether.

Either way. Crap. Thoughts?

Classic!

how about these pants?

I think I'll have a starburst.

does this jumper make me look fat?

I know most of you are going to hate me for posting this...

and Care Bear is going to lament the greatness of Hank and Honkey Tonk, but Bob Wills is still the king!You have got to admit that the Texas Playboys were kick ass! -VG

Midget Cure

Much to Nay's dismay the Nazi's eugenics programs failed to clean the world of those pesky midgets. Look at this picture and the translation. Wow.



"This person suffering from hereditary defects costs the community 60,000 Reichsmark during his lifetime. Fellow German, that is your money, too."

However, not too long ago, Homer made this comment:

Homer said...
Nay will be excited to know that there is a cure to being a midget (although there always has been one and it has to do with some bandsaws, 2x4s, and nails), but I'll have to try it to believe it.
6:02 AM, August 14, 2007

It reminded me of something I saw on TV. I couldn't find the kid I saw the program on, but I did find this story. Enjoy! Think of it... no more midgets. Now if we could only do something about those damned American Indians...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4242093/

A Busboy in the Restaurant of Life

You all know I have crazy fears. LPs, scary eyes, driving at night, skinwalkers, little girls with unnaturally long hair... But the root of all these fears is Death. Death by Little Person, Death by Skinwalker, Death by long-haired, scary-eyed girl etc. I can't even IMAGINE how I'd react to a prank like this being pulled on me. I'm pretty sure I'd take my ICEE and Doritos and run like hell, but it's probably even more likely I'd just pee my pants and cry.

-=Nay

Crazy Asians!

I can't fathom how long this took to figure out, let alone perform. Apparently there isn't much to do in Tokyo when Godzilla isn't smashing it.

Homer

"F" The Napkin!

Just for fun, to always remind us of those ancient mystics. Remember, their messages are hewn into that living rock.

Homer

Greg Giraldo-Roast of Flava Flav (Uncensored)

This one beats Kimmel, in my opinion....I'll try to fin Lisa's and add it, too...

I tivo'd this and it was hi-larious.

K-Rock

1983 All-Star Game - National League Lineup

Liam thinks Uncle Care Bear looks like Glen Hubbard. This is when baseball still kicked ass. The AL was the NL's bitch forever! -VG

Flava is the Reason George Bush Hates Black People

If you haven't seen this, make sure you are around people who can appreciate ass-kicking comedy. Jimmy Kimmel shows some serious sack, I'd say he could even be a VanBlogger. Enjoy the clip.

Homer

Edit: I fixed the link, hopefully it stays up for a while.

A Big Middle Finger

Should be extended to these two tools. I am so disgusted with the actions and antics of these a-holes that it is difficult to discuss rationally. They actually photoshopped Wolfgang Van Halen into the cover art of the first Van Halen album on their website. Themo has always wanted a husband who didn't obsess over Van Halen, well she has her wish. They can go straight to hell.

Homer

Bran Halen

Van Halen made the news today. Oh boy. It made me feel for Homer because I think most of us think of him whenever we see Van Halen news. It reminds me of how glad I am that the Beatles called it quits and, for the most part, didn't fall in to the "reunion" trap. Below you will see a picture of the Beatles at one of their last photo sessions. Look at those fellas!

Now look at this recent picture of the new and "improved" Van Halen.

Now normally, whenever a Rolling Stones fan would find out I was a Beatles fan they start an argument of why the Stones are so much better. It's a pointless argument, because what does it matter and how would you ever measure that? Anyway, The argument usually comes to this: "Look at the Stones. They're still touring!" That's usually where I lose it. That's a lot like this. So what if Van Halen is hitting the road? Talk about a train wreck. I think the Van Halen of 1978 would cringe to hear or see what's going on now. What's worse, the fans are cringing. So with that, I offer you my condolences, Homer. Take solace in the words of John Lennon...

"We were just a rock band. You have all the old records if you want to reminisce."

Thought you might like to know...

In a cool, tasty beverage challenge Arizona Grapeade would kick Diet Cokes ass.