The Trolls are out

According to Jim Rome, the first rule of the Jungle is the ability to smack your own. As a long-time EVH fanboy, I've got to come correct and smack down on one of the most frightening transformations in the entertainment industry. Ed used to be a normal looking dude, but over the past few years he has turned into a freakish little troll. He is not far from looking like Gollum with a guitar, let alone a bum with vibrator in his mouth. He went from touring the world with a platinum-selling band and a television star wife to a burned-out addict porn producer. He is a step away from the grave (whether or not he is pre or post burial is for you to decide). Take this post for a warning, but as for me, if I see him bumming smokes outside of the local Circle K I am going to run like hell.

Homer

P.S. Here are just a couple of the hilarious Photoshop images people have made with this picture.

The evil spirits are restless...

At the risk of incurring the wrath of some cyber-defender, I saw this picture of Terri Hatcher and knew she'd be perfect for the Fright-Face Festival. I have tomorrow's pictures all ready for your viewing pleasure, but for today Terri is enough. No more words are necessary.

Homer

My liver hurts just looking at her...

I know you all were asking yourself, "Hey, that picture of Courtney Love that Homer posted is intriguing, I wonder what the rest of that ensemble looks like?" Well, wonder no more, here she is. If she wasn't such a gold-digging crack-whore I would feel badly for her slow spiral down into hell. If you look closely in the first picture, you can actually see where her liver is dying. I hope I'm not the only one wondering what the hell is in her hair. Wherever they are, Dave Grohl and Nirvana's bass player have seen these pictures online and are getting a good laugh.

Homer

It's October 27 - It keeps getting scarier

Remember when Axl Rose was W. Axl Rose, a skinny, strung-out heroin freak who serpentined his way into public consciousness? Well it seems that 15 years without releasing any new product is almost over and he is the new and surgically improved Axl. He is introducing his new line of synthetic hair ropes. You can buy them at cool places like Trails and Home Depot, and after you use them for tying down some lumber, you staple them to your head and wrap it up with an old Crips 'do rag. Cool huh? Anyway, I just wanted to spread the Halloween Horror around among the genders. Have a great night.

Homer

P.S. There are some truly frightening pictures of Axl out there with his bad eye jobs and cheek implants, but for some reason I couldn't find any large enough to post. Possibly because the people who wanted to take close-ups of him nowadays are dead, but it's just a theory.

Travelling Wilburys - Handle With Care

Here is a gem from the best super group ever! - VG

Starland Vocal Band - Afternoon Delight

My motto's always been when its right it's right.... VG

The Halloween Countdown is on

and I'll be posting the most frightening pictures of "celebrities" that I can find. Lisa Rinna for example. She has always been a little scary with those lips, but as she ages she gets more and more terrifying. At some point, people are going to run screaming from her presence, but for now she is content scaring small children at benefit carnivals. I don't know which is scarier, Lisa or a real pirate. Enjoy!

Homer

Halloween is just around the corner...

and can't you just catch a whiff of the stench of death emanating off of Ms. Love? I guess that I should have warned you about that picture before you had to look at it, but that would have taken all of the fun out of it. Outside of the Catwoman that I posted earlier, is there a bigger trainwreck around than Courtney Love? It looks like her doctors are having a race to see where they can put the biggest implants: her cheeks or her chest. She makes Tara Reid look like a schoolmarm with a bitchin' wavy stomach. Oh well, as long as she has her heroin and Cobain's money she'll be okay.

Homer

Kellie McGillis in Top Gun (a.k.a. K-Rock)

Top Gun was a huge hit when I was in junior high, and many folks told me that I looked like her, especially in a scene where they're at some kind of command center. I never saw it, but was oh-so-flattered that Brandon Naccarato and Matt Ludlow thought we looked so alike....little good that did me! My hair was very similar to hers during this time, so maybe that was part of it, too.

It's alive !!

It has been said the a young Vanilla Gorilla resembles a young Darth Vader. What say ye?

I'm glad it's not dead!

EVERYONE called me Lois from the "Lois and Clark" the superman series, which starred Terry Hatcher and Dean Kane. I don't see it. Snippy

Yes Sir

I've been told, more times than I would like to admit that I look just like her. I'm pretty sure it's an insult.

I'm also pretty sure I'm not Patty's bitch, but I guess it's all a matter of perspective right?

-=The Nay

My wife once told me

that I looked like Andy Garcia. I don't know about that, but I just knew I never had bitchin' hair like that.

Homer

When I was working at Sizzler in high school and I had my hair short, several people told me that I looked like Demi Moore in Ghost. Specifically the promo poster. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta. - themo

Stay the course

We can't pull out of the Vanblogger yet. You guys are quitters. All it needs is a little Vivarin and then it's back on course. The remedy? Me. I can take this piece from zero to hero lickity split. The Vanblogger just wants a little more personalized attention. It may get a little Fight Club up in here, but I think you'll like how this turns out. Keep your mind open and get ready to rock. We'll start simple. It may sound gay, but you're doing this for the Vanblogger. The only REAL friend any of you have. I want everyone to post a picture of the celebrity they have been told they resemble, but you don't think you look anything like. I'll start with this... Edward Norton. My manager at Chase said I was a dead ringer for this cat. I asked if he meant the Edward Norton he knew in high school, but he was sure it was this dude. You make the call. I'm saying not at all.

The death of a blogspot...

is kind of tragic. I'll still visit, but wow this thing died quick. It's too bad, it was fun. I guess we can celebrate the Vanblogger with a cool Angelina pic back before she was doing blackface.


Homer

It's a good thing I don't have disposable income

Otherwise I would so buy this. It is sitting at $960 right now, but it will probably go for a couple of thousand dollars. I would buy it and then tell the person selling it that I've made a huge mistake!

Homer

P. S. Yes, this is the actual Segway used in Arrested Development.

It's October, time for scary stuff...

This is what this blog is for, scaring small children and making ourselves feel better about the lives we live. I don't even really know what to say about this picture except for Patricia Arquette's breasts are so frightened by her that they appear to be trying to escape. I don't blame them either. Maybe her "brother" picked out the outfit so he could be the "sexy" Arquette, but isn't that like saying that the poo on the sidewalk is sexier than the one you just stepped in?

Homer

Baby Beyonce

Sorry, I know I'm adding a lot, but this baby is just too cute.

funny dance

Crazy Asians! -themo

tow chinese boys:i want it that way

You've probably already seen this, but I think it's pretty funny. -themo

Pablo Francisco - Registered Nurse Skit

This one's for the guys... funny, some foul lanuage, so careful around kids. - themo

Sepultura Refuse Resist

You've got to love the South Americans love for Heavy Metal! The brothers are from Argentina. Reminds me of the Rock and Roll Nazi's --- VG

I'm feeling patriotic....

-themo

I appreciate the break

Nay, but as long as criminal masterminds like this are around, I'll always have a little something to post. The hot rumor is that this crack-addled freak is trying to bribe her way into citizenship in the Bahamas to avoid dealing with nasty American laws. I'll just add that as Americans we should all be glad to be rid of her. We have too many skanky blondes running around in this country as it is. Our gene pool just got significantly deeper.

And other stereotypes...

In order to give Homer a break from having to resuscitate VanBlogger, I offer this picture. I don't know these people, but this just cements my understanding that gay men LOVE Tigger. Time and time again, I am offered evidence of this fact, and I'm really confused as to why. Anyone have any theories?


-=T-I-Double Guh-Nay

25 Greatest A/D Moments

I don't know if I agree with all of these, but they are great moments. Since this is a visual blog, I'll throw up a picture for fun. Here's one of Rita Leeds, AKA Mr. F:




Homer

I've been having nightmares

for a couple of days now. At first I thought it was just remnants of these antibiotics I've been taking, or even some sort of repressed memory, but I think it was just a reaction to seeing this:



Homer

YouTube Clips

I know it seems like I went crazy last night with the YouTube clips. This is not true, I went crazy with the YouTube clips a week ago. They just now showed up. Very strange.

Homer

Stephen's Sound Advice

I know that this will most likely never make it to the blog, but I feel that it is three minutes that all incoming high school students should have to watch. It is just good solid advice.

Homer

dutty wine COLOMBIAN STYLE

I want to learn this dance...themo

Chicken Dance

There are no words for this!

Homer

Afternoon Delight??

I am home sick for a second straight day, I won't be having any afternoon delight, but I will be watching my season 3 Arrested Development DVDs. Enjoy the clip, it is everything that made Arrested Development great (execept there are no illusions).

Mmmm.... Hot Pockets

Hot Pockets are yummy. But Jim seems to have a small problem with them. Go figure.

Homer

What movie came out today?

Divine will give you one guess.

Give it another chance

I think you saw the blank box and moved on. Don't listen to me... take Renee and Brandt's word for it. Scroll back down to the post "give me da gol'! I want da gol!". Click on the empty box and watch a new world appear before your eyes. You'll thank me later.

The greatest show of the century.

I will not accept any argument. The Office is good, but this?? This was pure genius. Homer