of jizz, it's probably just the Oscars. Is there any "event" that is more unwatchable than the Oscar broadcast? It is the most tedious, self-congratulatory four hours plus known to man. If four hours is the threshold for a painful erection from Viagra, where does the Oscars rate on the pain scale? There is no entertainment value other than the obligatory "What were they thinking?" moment when some clueless attendee wears something stupid. The crap that they pad this ceremony with is simply unwatchable, from a sound effect chorus to montages that are laughable in their pretentiousness.
Whose idea was it to broadcast this tripe initially? As a group, movie actors are the most overpaid and underwhelming groups that exist on this planet. At least athletes have a skill other than lying. Think about it, all of those pretentious drama geeks that needed beatings in high school because they annoyed everyone with their "art" are the same losers that are celebrating in this little circle jerk. These people would have to be double jointed to enjoy themselves any more than they do at the Oscars, and this telecast is only the worst of the offenders. There are a whole slew of award shows and ceremonies whose entire existence is predicated on the idea that actors need recognition as being the best. Good for you, drama geek, you are still the insecure junkie you were before you "made it."
The worst part is that we buy into this crap. It has become a social event, reaching far beyond the entertainment news to "legitimate" news outlets, like this is important to anyone. Unfortunatley, the only way to relegate this garbage to the Bravo network is for society to treat this like the uninteresting, uninspired trash it is and not watch. But then again, if that were the case, and we stopped fawning over celebs, then how would I know when Brittney tries kill another SUV? And damnit, I NEED that!
Homer
P.S. The Basic Instinct 2 picture is included because it swept the Razzies, a celebration of horrible movies. That is something I can get behind (although it has taken me months to get the "Dirty Grandma" vibes that the movie gave me out of my mind).
4 comments:
Amen and bravo, Homer! I tried watching it on tivo last night and was able to get through the entire broadcast in about 15 min. Why bother?
I lost interest the Oscar crap years ago. I don;t need a group of jackoffs telling me who this years king of the jackoffs are. Great post Homer.
Homer may have just written the 139th section of D&C. In related news, Renee and I caught about 30 seconds of the Oscars. It was the last bits of the "Fresh Dead People" bit. That's my favorite part because I've only heard of 2 or 3 of them. The rest of them are usually put in as a joke because they're friends with the guy who puts that thing together.
Yikes, bro! I felt the venom through the computer! Awesome post though.
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