Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Dark Five





1. The List – I was reading one of my favorite sites the other day when they were asking their readers about which celebrities they’d like to “date.” It was kind of serendipitous due to the fact that I was just commiserating with themo about how Chow Young Fat had fallen off of hers. So, my little Vanbloggies, who makes the cut in 2008? Think about it and let’s see the results.

2. Ferris Bueller – Allegedly cheated on his wife. Look, I’m not going to excuse adultery, but since Sarah is only marginally human, shouldn’t we give Ferris a break here? I mean, how many times does the paper bag have to rip before he just buys Sarah a new saddle blanket and moseys back into town for some lovin?

3. Brooke Hogan – is supposedly considering posing nude for Playboy. I haven’t read the Bible lately, isn’t this another sign of the apocalypse?

4. X-Files – Wouldn’t this second sequel have been better oh, about eight years ago? Who did Gillian Anderson have to seduce in order for her to get some work?

5. Russia – Uncle Joe would be proud. Russia has just started cracking down on gothic/emo websites and dress. I get that the little emo sissies are annoying and even deserve the scorn and derision of an entire nation, but do we really need to ship them off to the gulags? On second thought, a little hard work would be good for them. Can I organize a little involuntary trip for some of the losers I see at the mall?


Homer

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't know why, but the first name that comes to mind is Maggie Gyllenhall (or however that stupid last name is spelled). I'm sure I'll get dogged...

Anonymous said...

Okay, so besides the obvious Ewan, I'm going to go ahead and say the guy from Chuck, if he didn't look so much like my brother.

Yes, that's creepy. No, I will not apologize for it.