A Tribute to Breasts

You all know I don't have a problem with breastfeeding. You do what you have to do to avoid the cost of formula, and I'll even admit that breastfeeding is a bonding experience between mother and child that is difficult to match. It isn't an easy thing to do, but I felt it was worth the time to learn, and I'm glad I kept at it.

That being said, this video made me want to vomit. I know, I know. Breastfeeding is normal and natural, and maybe I need to grow up, blah blah blah, but this was just weird. Let's just say, I'll be damned if I let CB take a vacation picture with Little H hanging on my boob as we overlook the Grand Canyon.

And the one where the kid (not baby, KID) is just sort of lipping the boob as she sits at the computer keyboard?? Weird. Weird. Weird.

Hey look, we're at the zoo, and we're behaving just like those monkeys who have no sense of modesty or decency. Pin a rose on my nipple.

My favorite part might be the Alien Baby wearing the shirt that says "Formula is for Pussies". So THAT'S what I'm supposed to do with all these free samples of Infamil?! I was wondering how I'd combat the vaginal dryness that comes postpartum. Thanks for the advice, ugly infant.

Congratulations Boob Advocate. You're giving your baby the gift of health. And the gift of getting your son's butt kicked daily when he hits junior high and someone in his grade finds this video posted for all the world to see. What a fabu mom. I just hope all that extra DHA and ARA you gave your kid when he was 4 helps to cushion his brain when he's bombarded with relentless teasing from his peers because mom decided to show everyone how much her litte boy likes to suck on teet while sitting on the train.

Get a Hooter Hider. It works just as well whether you're in national parks, at the park, in the waiting room, on a train, in the rain, in a house, with a mouse, in box, or with a fox. Just cover up a little. I promise your boobs produce just as much choline when they aren't on public display.

P.S. This video is probably NSFW, but I bet you could get someone from La Leche League to argue your job back if you need them to.