Saturday, March 29, 2008

Please God....


Make it fucking stop. Seriously, just make her go away. I'll go to church more diligently; I'll stop swearing and burning Paris Hilton in effigy. Whatever it takes.


Outside of a bunch of homosexual males with mommy issues, who cares about Madonna anymore? And no one, not even her husband wants to see that snatch again. There was a time, what about 25 years ago now, where she was considered controversial, relevant and kinda sexy (in a dirty $5 whore kinda way). Ever since she's been chasing publicity like Brittney Spears rooting around her car for stray Cheetos.

It is bad enough that this haggard skank infects the world with her musical product, we need our vision polluted with the album art as well? If you look closely, you can see the reinforcement needed to keep her junk under control. As disgusting as this picture is, just imagine it without the magic of the Photoshop wizards. Just imagining it makes my genitals angry with me.

Ugh, I've got to find some sites with Kate Beckinsale pictures or something; purge the optic nerves.

Homer

PS - This was originally posted on my other blog, but it felt VanBlogger worthy.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Very well put together, this post was" - Yoda

Madonna is a great example of someone with the emphasis of Brand over Music.

Also, If you go see a Madonna concert does she do songs like True Blue and Borderline? Is she too "smart" for that anymore? If you went to any other show wouldn't you want to see the classics? If anyone knows the answer to this, please let me know. However, I fear that he shows now are too "intellectual" and "hip" to do the cheesy old school songs people actually like.

Homer said...

Well, she did give an interview recently about why she can't see herself singing Like a Virgin or Holiday unless it were at some private function where someone paid her $30 million to do it. It's almost as bad as the Rolling Stones who on some of their recent tours didn't do Satisfaction or some of their other hits.

Buncha tools. Just because you're tired of it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it for the people who pay you to show up. Your whole show doesn't have to be oldies, but if you've got a signature hit, play it damnit. And don't get me started that she's some sort of artist, compromising her integrity to play her hits, she's a fucking corporate whore (at least); she has no integrity.

I'm tired of going to Van Halen shows and hearing Jump, but guess what, I understand why they play it. Madonna should just make everyone happy and stay the hell in London where she can pretend to be serious about her craft and shut the hell up.