VanBlogger

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

For Gassy

As well as for all others who love Arrested Development. Here is why Franklin and Gob would have something to say. My name is Judge!

And here is some classic Gob just for fun.

Homer (just trying to match Gassy's Youtube skillz)

I love watching Happy Slip. Her name is Christine and she is on YouTube and Revver and she also has her own website at happyslip.com. She is a nurse in her real life and makes these vids that are super cornball and I love them. The kids love them too. Just wanted to share one of our favorites.

Also, I think my next computer is going to be a Mac. Just because I heart happy slip.

Gassy

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Sober as a Judge?

I saw this picture and after I regained my vision, my first thought was I wonder what Gob and Franklin would say about this?

Homer

Monday, February 26, 2007

Never mind the smell

of jizz, it's probably just the Oscars. Is there any "event" that is more unwatchable than the Oscar broadcast? It is the most tedious, self-congratulatory four hours plus known to man. If four hours is the threshold for a painful erection from Viagra, where does the Oscars rate on the pain scale? There is no entertainment value other than the obligatory "What were they thinking?" moment when some clueless attendee wears something stupid. The crap that they pad this ceremony with is simply unwatchable, from a sound effect chorus to montages that are laughable in their pretentiousness.

Whose idea was it to broadcast this tripe initially? As a group, movie actors are the most overpaid and underwhelming groups that exist on this planet. At least athletes have a skill other than lying. Think about it, all of those pretentious drama geeks that needed beatings in high school because they annoyed everyone with their "art" are the same losers that are celebrating in this little circle jerk. These people would have to be double jointed to enjoy themselves any more than they do at the Oscars, and this telecast is only the worst of the offenders. There are a whole slew of award shows and ceremonies whose entire existence is predicated on the idea that actors need recognition as being the best. Good for you, drama geek, you are still the insecure junkie you were before you "made it."

The worst part is that we buy into this crap. It has become a social event, reaching far beyond the entertainment news to "legitimate" news outlets, like this is important to anyone. Unfortunatley, the only way to relegate this garbage to the Bravo network is for society to treat this like the uninteresting, uninspired trash it is and not watch. But then again, if that were the case, and we stopped fawning over celebs, then how would I know when Brittney tries kill another SUV? And damnit, I NEED that!

Homer

P.S. The Basic Instinct 2 picture is included because it swept the Razzies, a celebration of horrible movies. That is something I can get behind (although it has taken me months to get the "Dirty Grandma" vibes that the movie gave me out of my mind).

Friday, February 23, 2007

Do you smeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllll

what the Rock is cooking!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I have been thinking about this lately...

Steve Nash is Pistol Pete's bitch.

The Simpsons Movie

The trailer says that this was 18 years in the making, but really it is about 13 years too late. I guess the only hope is that without the 22 minute time constraint, they can avoid their new habit of using the quick one-line dick or fart joke. Hopefully this can actually be funny.

Homer

Multi-Dimensional

It is good to know if the basketball thing didn't work out for Shaq, he could have made a living dancing on street corners for tips. I know I would have thrown a nickel his way, but I would have hoped it would have been used for anti-seizure medicine.

Homer

Monday, February 19, 2007

What's the over/under

for how long before RayJ or JRay, or whatever the hell his name is shits on Whitney in some bizarre, crack-induced sex session. I mean it's the next logical step from Kardashian and Whitney should be used to it, Bobby did it metaphorically for years, right? The fact that I know this kinda crap about people really depresses me sometimes.

Homer

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Game of Wits

I love this movie, just wanted a little wittiness on the blog. Have a great holiday everyone.

Homer

Stunned Silence

There are no words.

Sir Mix-A-Lot was found dead this morning in front of his computer with a jar of vasaline and an empty kleenex box. A moment of silence please.

Homer

This lady is crazy.

Someone needs a little Midol.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Grown Man Cries Like A Bitch

I usually don't like the "Jackass" style stuff, frankly the amateurs just don't include enough of the Jackass homoerotic subtleties, but this is fantastic. Even the title kicks ass. Awesome stuff.

Homer

Friday, February 16, 2007

Star Wars Sword Dance

I happened on this one thinking at first that the super cheese value was reason enough to post. Then about halfway through I started wondering where I can sign Lemon up for classes that will teach her how to do this. It's pretty much awesome, and every one of these kids wil slice your throat, mid cowsill kick, if you try to tell them otherwise.

Star Wars Theme Live!

I too have been feeling the Star Wars vibe lately. It keeps the Lemonhead quiet, and for that, I love it. However, she's been wanting to hear the song basically nonstop, which can wear a little heavy on the nerves.

Thank goodness for The Tube, for offering alternatives like this one. More to come.

Star Wars

Lemonhead has been big in to Star Wars of late so my interest has been rekindled. I'm not sure how they got all these fools together for a photo shoot, but it's pretty cool.