USA!USA!USA!
That’s right, Homer’s on the Olympic bandwagon still. Deal with it.
1. Michael Phelps – That’s right, suck it world.
2. China – I know that I’ve written some sarcastic shots about China, but the reality is that the government there has gone out of the way to present themselves as a modern industrial nation. Everything looks fantastic at first glance, but the longer people are there seeing what that regime is all about, the worse that it looks. It’s kinda like a stripper working in one of those roadside trucker joints. With the right lighting and make-up, it might look like a woman, but in the cold light of day, or a close inspection, you just aren’t sure. At least that’s what I would assume it is like. Either way it is more fun to write about strippers than it is to comment on a government that continually suppresses their people.
3. Oh, Canada – not only are getting their maple-asses kicked in the Olympics, they are really strange. Apparently there is a new Canadian porn channel that is promising to air at least 50% Canadian porn. According to the founders of this venture, Canadian audiences are tired of watching Americans have sex. I know that porn is a dirty subject and I’m sure I’m dealing in stereotypes here, but does anyone really want to see Canadians getting their freak on? If nothing else their accent will make the usually witty dialogue seem vacuous and trite. Oh well. This is my favorite quote from the article:
"I think as Canadians there is a bit of a tiredness in seeing all American stuff," Shaun Donnelly, president of Real Productions, said during an interview on Friday.
"There is always that thrill for something that is local and you get the sense that these are people you can meet at the supermarket."
Is this really why Canadians go shopping?
4. Chris Kattan – and his wife of 8 weeks are separating. I guess his ready supply of heroin has run out and she realized she married Chris Kattan instead of a talented member of SNL. Oh, that’s right there aren’t any anymore. My bad.
5. Guitar Hero – is apparently the new devil. Somehow I keep reading about some kid who dropped out of school to play Guitar Hero competitively. Let me wrap my head around this for a second. Okay, got it. My first response is to laugh and teach him the proper response to my order for no onions on my Whopper, but after more reflection I just want the boy, and the ineffectual parents who said it was okay, to try and live on the free value meals he is winning at his local events. Maybe starving would inspire a little more thirst for knowledge.
Homer
4 comments:
great pic.
I must agree about the Chinese. People give Americans a really bad name for anything. Not saying that some of it isn't deserved, but this Olympics seem to have shown a lot of bad behavior from countries all over the world. Yet we're still the bad guy.
Why are porn watchers so picky? I guess the more you watch it, the more distinguished your tastes get.
hahaha... you said "my bad".
If Canadian porn is anything like Candadian comedy, count me in.
(PS I'm not clever enough to come up with a good porn movie name for Strange Brew, but at least I knew it would star Dick More-Anus)
Go ahead and assume that Canada is just the 51st State; that there really isn't much difference between Canada and the US....there is no greater insult for a Canadian. Working with the folks in Vancouver a lot has given me some insight here, I think, and they are strangely defensive about how different they are from the US and how Canada is such an exotic land. Meanwhile, for me, it was like I never left home.
That's great, K-Rock. Canadians. Who invited them?
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