1. Bernie Mac – RIP, I just hope it wasn’t the hare-brained antics of that little sissy on his show that killed him. I was always hoping I’d see the Bernie Mac beat-down happen, but alas, it isn’t going to happen now.
2. Bejing – I know it is the Olympics, but you know this city is a shithole. I actually think it would be healthier to suck fumes straight from the tailpipe of a 1977 El Camino in need of a ring job than to breath the air in that city. And I’m sorry, the whole ‘running around the top of the stadium’ thing was pretty lame after some of the other stuff going on during the opening ceremonies. And tell Visa that this Go World crap has got to go. The chant needs to be USA! USA! USA!
3. John Edwards – Wait a minute, are you really telling me that a politician would cheat on his wife? With someone described as a ‘party girl?’ I’m stunned.
4. Shia LeBouf – Once he loses his finger, are more complex mathematical calculations going to be more difficult for him? I mean, he’s only going to be able to count by nines now, right? Poor bastard.
5. Gay Gaykin – So when is he legally obligated to check the female box on his driver’s license? It has got to be soon, I’d think. He’s about 2 minutes away from driving a mini-van and shopping for some more bon bons to eat while his soaps are on.
6. Catherine Zeta-Jones(Douglas?) – According to azcentral.com, Ms. ZJD was consulting psychics on the set of her latest film and utilizing their otherworldly powers to talk to the dead. This is not surprising as I think she is just getting ready for her husband to realize that he is, in fact dead. His corpse just doesn’t realize it yet.
Homer
2 comments:
This was so full of fun, I almost don't know where to start. So I won't. Except to say, Clay looks like he smells like baby powder and semen.
(I've still got it)
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