1. The CGI Olympics? – C’mon China, I was down with you stealing and defiling the youth of a generation for the greater glory, but faking the opening ceremonies? What a crock. You know, if your smog is so bad that you can’t see fireworks, you might want to put more of your billions of citizens back to work in sweatshops to save on emissions. I’m so disillusioned, the next thing your are going to tell me is that that little flying elf was hanging from wires and not flying on the dragon wings of his ancestors. Damn it.
2. The Boss? – Isn’t he nearing mandatory retirement age? The hot rumor is that the NFL has hired Bruce Springsteen to play the Super Bowl this year. I know that they are trying to avoid another nipple incident, but shouldn’t they try to get an act that was popular this century? Prince rocked it in the rain, but Tom Petty and Bruce? Last I heard he was cutting his sets down to two and a half hours to avoid breaking a hip.
3. The Retards are angry – with the movie Tropic Thunder. Apparently the film features actors talking about taking handicapped roles in order to win awards. If I was Ben Stiller I’d be nervous, those angry little short-bus riders have super strength.
4. Brittney Spears – has been missing from the blog for a while, but she’s making a comeback. Well, not really, it’s her mom. Not only is she a murderer and a horrific parent, she has a new book coming out. Who knew she could read or write? Good for her, although I’m afraid of how much ghostwriting was needed to translate her monosyllabic grunts into coherent sentences and paragraphs. Whatever her ghost was paid, it wasn’t enough.
5. I've got nothing but this: watch the film and try not to chant USA!USA!USA!
Just kickass!
Homer
2 comments:
I submit that Homer should just delete everything else on this blog that wasn't written by him and turn this thing into the Next Internet Craze.
And since you don't work for Citibank, you might get away with it.
Also, super strength. hahahahaha.
I love the Britney Spears' mom post. I can see a ghostwriting team huddle around her on day one with pens and paper ready to go. Only to get "gluuuuuh...maaaaa... pfffth..." By the afternoon they've left her in a minivan in the sun and they're huddled around a table trying to make interesting shit up.
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